The Recipe Your Family Will Fight You For (Apple Pie)

Earlier this week I posted about all the awesome pie productivity I had, and mentioned recipes were forthcoming.

I then realized Thanksgiving is ONE WEEK AWAY. After I recovered from my mini-anxiety attack (just kidding. Kind of.) I thought I should probably post the recipe in case any of you would like to prepare this as part of your holiday dessert, and quickly become the favorite member of the family.

Just sayin.

So here’s the lowdown:

  • Either make your favorite pie crust, or buy pre-made. No judgement from me. I happen to know those pre-made crusts are on sale right now…
  • Wash, peel, core, and slice 4 to 6 apples for one pie. It depends on how big they are, but if you overshoot, just make another pie and thank me later. (Tart apples work great for these pies, too.)

(I like to slice my apples super thin, lengthwise. I don’t like chunks of apples in my pie. But you do you.)

Now here is where I stray from the recipe a bit. The recipe says to pile the sliced apples in the pie crust and then dump the sugar and cinnamon on top and shake it to the bottom.

This is risky, because one apple slice might still be a healthy apple slice when it’s all said and done. I want that baby coated with sweetness.

  • I toss the apple slices in a bowl with 1/2 cup sugar and 1 tsp. cinnamon. I make sure every scrap has granules of flavor coating it.
  • Load up the pie crust, heaping with apples.
  • In another bowl, mix 1/2 cup sugar, 3/4 cup flour, and 1/3 cup (cold) butter. This is the crumble topping that makes the pie taste insanely good. Don’t be afraid to get your fingers dirty, mixing this crumble topping. Nobody ever died from licking sugar-coated butter off their fingertips. Just take my word for it.

  • Place that crumble topping over top of your apple slices, and marvel at how pretty it looks. If you aren’t marveling, you’re doing it wrong.
  • Pop in it the oven at 450 for 10 minutes, and decrease the oven temperature to 350 and bake another 35 – 40 minutes. Keep an eye on your crust. A crust-guard (or whatever they’re called – Google is telling me “pie shield”) is not a frivolous purchase. It keeps your pie game in check.
  • Take it out of the oven.
  • Instagram the crap out of the pie you just baked.
  • Serve it up for dessert and casually ask people to do things you don’t want to. Watch them oblige.

It’s that powerful. And delicious.

And easy.

And uses an entire cup of sugar.

You’re welcome.

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